Love yourself and you will be loved too

Sometimes the world around me never ceases to surprise me but not always in a good way. I was browsing on TSR, the student forum and came across a post by a 17 year old girl who was upset that she wasn’t appealing enough to boys and was asking for advice on how to look sexy. I read this and was so upset to think - is this what our world is coming to? - That there are young girls out there who are so unconfident with the way that they look that they want to change that and be someone that they are not. I know this isn’t a new thought and we see that every day. Everywhere you go you come across girls in the same position who have the same insecurities and it is not surprising. Given the increased sexualisation of our society, it is inevitable that people feel the pressure to behave and dress in a certain way or else they be deemed boring or uncool.

I was that 17 year old girl with those insecurities, wondering why I was so invisible to guys and not cool enough or popular enough. It took me a long time to be happy with who I am and to focus on my strengths and see my weaknesses as something that should be celebrated and appreciated as part of what makes me who I am. The 17 year old me was young, naïve and lost amongst the loud, pretty, sociable girls who were put partying and getting drunk all the time. Going to an all-girls school, I was continually surrounded by girls and there were so many who were a lot more confident and attractive and appeared to have it all. On the outside they appeared to be the epitome of cool whilst I was the nerdy, opinionated bookworm who was the one everyone came to when they needed help with their school work. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being smart and had my group of smart friends who were all focussed hard working driven people who knew exactly what they wanted out of life and where they wanted to go. People knew who I was, I was never invisible but people didn’t see me as more than just a respectable nice nerd at school. It took me a year out of school and getting out in the real world, working 3 jobs and doing lots of volunteering that I realised that life is what you make of it. And confidence doesn’t come from the way you dress or how much make up you have on or how many guys you pull in a night club but from within and that took me a long time to appreciate. I realised that being smart wasn’t a drawback but the one thing that will get me where I want to go in life. I have so many dreams and I want to change the around me person by person through the power of medicine and good will.

4 years later, I’m not at school anymore. I hated school. I was good at it and knew it was just one stepping stone to get to where I want to be so I stuck it out. So whenever I see an ordinary 17 year old girl wearing jeans and a hoody and glasses and holding a stack of books I think you go girl! Just be proud that you are smart and one day all those years of hard work will make it all worthwhile and when you see someone at school that appears to have everything you don’t have, remember you have things that she doesn’t have too. Envy never gets you anywhere, be proud of who you are and appreciate others for what they have and learn from them. Don’t see them as a threat or feel that you are inferior. Everyone has something that they are good at, something that makes them special. For some that something special is more obvious, for others it is deep inside and it takes a truly special person to peel back the layers and see and appreciate that.