Carpe Diem - Seize the day

Its the day after boxing day, after the mad rush of the past few days, this day has given me time to think and in some respect collect my thoughts and evaluate aspects of my life. I have had a life changing past few months. I have turned 20. The start of a new decade in my life and I have started univeristy in a city a few hundred miles away from home......away from my family and the few friends that I have. It was scary but exciting all the same. I was ready for a new start. I moved into student halls full of expectations, hopes and excitement but fear that things may not go to plan. Now it is December and I am back home for the Christmas Holidays. I have made some new friends and have embarked on a new adventure doing the course that I have always dreamed of doing since I can remember. I left for univeristy having had very little in the way of life experience. Having been very sheltered by my parents, I missed out on much in the way of a teenage life. Some of you that read this may say that is no big deal. But now I am at uni and have finally got the freedom that I had yearned for since I became a teenager. But I am like a fish out of water.

I had hoped that things would be different at uni. But so far, no such luck. I had hoped for adventure, new experiences and a life of spontenaity but its not worked out that way. I seem to lack the confidence to just go for it. Instead I am much more comfortable sitting in my room with a blanket around my shoulders and a mug of hot chocolate watching films on my laptop or getting stuck into a good novel. But is this what I signed up for? I had hoped to get life experience and put myself out there. But how do I go about this? I have made a few good friends that I enjoy spending time with but none of them have the same secret desire to experience life and seize the day as me. They are quite comfortable as they are.

I am at home now. I had hoped to get away from the sadness and regrets of my past life before uni. I had a broken heart and going away had helped me move forward. But coming back, has brought back the pain of the past like an old wound that hasn't healed fully. But that is another story...

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