A reflective quote

 "Don't Worry. Everything that happens happens mostly without you." 

Anonymous 

This is a quote loved by the author of a series that I am reading in the Guardian online called 'a marriage in recovery.' It tells the experiences of an anonymous writer whose husband is an alcoholic. She is married with 3 children and the series explores her experiences, difficulties and emotions living with her alcoholic husband. It is a very enlightening series and highlights the effects that alcohol has on the family unit and also on marriage. Often these can be overlooked as especially from a medical perspective. As a medical student, I am taught about the harm it does on a person's body but often the social implications of dependency can be far more long lasting and perhaps difficult to reverse. 

I particularly liked this quote as it shows that often when we are dealing with the effects of another's behaviour, we take it personally. We get hurt and upset and let what they say and do get get right into our soul and this is heartbreaking. Whether it's a partner's addiction, infidelity or bullying at school or in the work place, often if we step back and just think for a second, why do we take it so personally? Why do we let it consume us? Often if it was another person in our place receiving this harm instead, the same thing would happen ... right? It is not our fault and is a problem with the person who is causing the harm. We are just unfortunately the one caught up in it.

In other words, things happen with/without our input so we should just chill out a bit and distance ourselves emotionally sometimes. This perspective helped me a lot when dealing with being hurt or let down by other people. What do you think?